Going through IVF has been one giant emotional rollercoaster. My 39th birthday came and went. The day was mostly a blur of tears and depression. I cleared my calendar and even got in a tear-filled 3.9 mile run in on the treadmill. In one sense, I’ve come a long way — I have a great relationship, a successful career, friends scattered across the world, and well-used running shoes. However, the road ahead is unknown. Will IVF ever be successful? Have I peaked (when it comes to my running)? Will I ever find whatever it is I’m chasing? Will I ever get to knock off some of those running/triathlon things off my bucket list?
One thing I do know for sure…the best way to deal with the emotional pain of IVF is to distract myself. When my ERA and ReceptivaDX came back unremarkable, I registered for Dopey 2022. When my third frozen embryo transfer failed, I bought myself an Apple Watch. Now I’m at a point where my emotional, physical, and financial runway is coming to an end. I have two plasma treatments left to go, and then my (always hopefully) final egg retrieval. Then all of the embryo transfers of whatever I have left. There’s the possibility for a gestational carrier too, but that’s its own emotional journey.
I again desperately needed something to distract myself…something to genuinely look forward to. A consolation prize for a failure not yet materialized. A hope that maybe “oh, just go on vacation” for the millionth time will be the magic sauce to making IVF work. I have been on a journey to undo some of the side effects of my IVF journey since my endometriosis surgery last November.
So, after talking it over with my husband, we decided to register for the 2024 Dopey Challenge. The distraction will be much needed for the both of us. I still plan on proceeding with treatment, but in the case that I do actually have success with IVF I still plan on showing up to WDW weekend and doing the runs. However, if I am far enough along where it is not advised to push it, I will just plan to DNF it. They still give you the medal (which is a nice gesture) but that means I will be able to resell them and recoup the cost of my registration.
So, regardless of whatever happens…Dopey, I’m coming for you!
Amara in Training 